Hello my two readers. Well, I may have to change that because I’ve received a lot of comments on the last post, so many that I had to write this one. I firstly have to agree with many of you that it wasn’t my best effort that put through that piece, it was hurried and it showed, and for that I apologize. Then again, see the sign on the door to this blog, yes, that one, what does it say? “Procrastinator’s Den” that’s right, I hurried my last work because I procrastinated, of course I did, I had a good excuse to do it too, but that I’ll tell you tomorrow. Let me get started so I don’t take too much of your time. I had many questions regarding the amount of love, what amount of love was too much or not enough. That was never the point. I don’t think of love as a measurable entity. Some will say love is infinite, let them. I can only say that within each one of us there is enough to seem infinite and that’s all the love we need, and if it seems we are running out, we can create some more, so not a problem. What if we love ourselves much more than we love others? Then we are not really loving ourselves because real love is a love that transcends our bodies and expands around us. It’s stronger within us, then our closest family or friends, then people we know, then the rest of the world. Please, don’t ask me if it follows an inverse-square law because as I said before, it can’t be measured and therefore doesn’t have a unit of measure, but if I was forced to answer I’d say it was sort of like that. There are exceptions like people suffering from NPD you won’t “love” anyone but you. On the other side of the spectrum, you can be a “Francoise” and love and worry more for an unknown person living on the other side of the world than for people close to you. But those cases are extreme. Now, on the other hand, people who don’t love themselves enough or not at all are much more common. I myself am going through an episode right now, when self doubt and loathing were part of my routine, as you can deduce from my earlier posts. Loving myself means respecting myself, doing what is right and good for myself, not letting others hurt me or the ones I love as suggested on a comment somewhere, all of that and much more are components of my love of self. As mentioned in the previous post this includes shutting down my inner bully. You may think “not that inner bully again…”
Believe me, it’s very real. It even comes out in certain circumstances, like, when we are driving. Yes, that’s him/her that screams like a mad person to the other driver that he’s the most stupid person that ever lived on this or any other planet in this or any other universe just because he had the terrible idea to change lanes in front of you. How dare he! Well, it’s the same creature. But it screams and shouts at you all the time if you let it. It’s tell you “you’re fat, but go ahead, eat that muffin, you deserve it… fatty” and once you ate it will recall you “you shouldn’t have done that! It’ll go straight to you belly or hips! Whatever… fatso!” or something of the sort. That bully inside our heads prevents us from truly loving ourselves, that’s why we need to silence it. I’ve been using Mindful Meditation for a few months now and it’s helped me so much. The same question, and now I’m leaving a poll what do you do to try and shut down that little bully?
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Love yourself first, second part
“All you need is love” To John Lennon on the 35th anniversary of his death.